It is tax day tomorrow. Which means that rather than weep at the thought of how the gov’t is taking money from you by force, it is best to laugh it all off–lest we become libertarian revolutionaries and take up arms like those whacky founding fathers did.
So… here is a balanced look at taxes from the not-so-balanced IMAO. Here’s a sample:
What effect would a national sales tax have on the poor who pay no income taxes now?
Left Side – If the poor have nothing now they will have even less. It would cause them to riot in the streets and hunt down and kill Republicans. Hmm maybe the sales tax is a good idea after all. Wait, no we are usually rioting, I mean protesting peacefully, in the streets. If they saw my “[bleep] Bush” T-shirt they might think I meant it literally and in a nice way and murder/death/kill me as well. But yes they will riot, committing acts of violence and mayhem that will ultimately be the fault of the Right for supporting such a vile perversion. If you are wondering what kinds of acts of violence and mayhem they are likely to commit. Buy my book ‘Acts of Violence and Mayhem: A How To… With Pictures!”. I have a comprehensive listing.
Right Side – A positive one, under a consumer intended national sales tax everything anybody buys would end up being cheaper. Why? Because the income tax is built into the price of everything. I would show you the math but it’s really, really hard math.
Off Side – Give every adult citizen, not currently in prison, a, what’s the poverty line? $15,000? tax free card every year. This way the poor’s lives could remain the same and they could continue to siphon the life out of America in under-employed bliss as they do right now. Everybody else would get a break utill they broke through the poverty level spending ceiling. Everybody wins! Even losers!
You know you want to read the rest.
April 14th, 2005 | Satire and Humor